I am (a) worthy (diamond).
Growing up with love, a couple of homes, and raised with values and morals (relatively speaking), I was blessed enough to have a mom that told me I was worthy- every day. How do I know this today? I don’t. I can only trust that as a being in this universe, I am worthy of all things good even if I have a bit of bad karma and even if my diamonds are cut from coal. As I continued to grow into my own, I developed a lot of anger about the world around me. To cope with my anger I have lived a life of “flight mode”. Reflecting back on that, perhaps the choices I’ve made don’t exactly produce a life that some might say, is worth anything. But maybe it is worth everything. I have been given a life in this world. I navigate it as well as I can. My mother gave birth to me. Doesn't that alone make me worthy?
I recently had an experience with an astrologer, Whitney Fishburn (remember the Mindy-Body Stuff, “Astrology as a Path to Empowerment” podcast? Yea, that's her), that basically gave me permission to start working towards what it was I really wanted in life. My diamond. Can you believe it- it’s a home and rest. My diamond is a home...and rest. I am worthy of a home and rest. As I process my last 35 years of flight mode, and this new light of information about myself, I have to wonder if all the running kept me from embracing my worth in its entirety. I have confidence and feel love, but did I really think I was worth a home...and rest? I’m working on embracing that now, and you know what? I am worth that and so much more.
A couple of months ago I escaped to a cabin and had a night to myself. I did a lot of grieving, soul searching - you know, the things we’ve been doing this last year. A song came on my playlist that now, with the perspective I have just a couple of months later, means more than ever. “Shine on you crazy diamond” by Pink Floyd. You know the song ;) In particular, the live version from the album Pulse played and I just stood up and danced my ass off. One of my morning mantras now includes this- feel free to borrow it! And remember- “Shine on you Crazy Diamond”.
You. Are. Worth. It.
With Love, Rae
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